Worm

I got worms!

Every so often, I come upon something so ridiculous it's weirdly enjoyable. Well, today I found an absurd game called Worm which I can imagine was made for kids. Oddly enough, the big kid within me still found it very amusing. Worm was developed by Craig Graham of Data Uncertain Software and is a public domain release (shocker). The title screen says it was released in 1991 but the game files are time-stamped 1989 on my floppy disk so who knows... Maybe a default?

The story is, we're a worm called Ooey Gooey who is on a mission to save the world from an unnatural disaster. Yep, we have been invaded once again by monsters that threaten our very existence. These nasty creatures have they've taken all the worm's eggs so it's our job to rescue those before it's too late (hey, do worms actually lay eggs?).

Wow, I've just googled it and worms do indeed lay eggs!! On that note, I think we better see some screenshots...

The title screen oozes a professional presentation easily on par with the Bitmaps ;)

There is a designer used to create your own levels. Look what I've started making...Hmm!

Let's play

There are 25 whacky levels and each is displayed side-on like many platformers. Using the joystick, Ooey can crawl along the ground, ledges, and other objects looking for eggs. This isn't exactly mind-blowing but there are some located in high areas and worms cannot fly so how can we grab 'em? Well, it's a good job Ooey has a hidden gadget - a helicopter pack! This is actually pretty cool and he uses it to reach those dizzy heights no worm was ever designed to see.

Don't be too quick to rush off and collect the eggs because there are other items for points and helicopter fuel. Also, there are power-ups like extra lives, invulnerability, and ice - used to freeze both enemies and everything else. Once all the eggs are collected, we are automatically whisked onto the next room to repeat the task on a slightly tougher level.

Interestingly, the main menu has a scroller but it's incredibly lame!! However, it does mention about a possible cheat code "Craig Loves Andrea". Perhaps it's for the high score table or maybe a key combo? I didn't have any luck but YMMV. If anyone's still reading this review, then let me know in the comments below.

And that's about all there is to this bizarre game. It's dead simple to play and quite enjoyable in a terrible way...

Leave the title screen alone and you get to view the instructions.

The evil eyeball looks drunk!

The CryptO'pinion?

To be honest, there's not a whole lot to this game and its design feels very amateur with crude aesthetics. Weirdly, I actually found the concept humorous, and enough to warrant writing about it. I really admire what Craig was trying to achieve but sadly, the sprites are far too big and this also comes with a bunch of truly dreadful collision detection too.

Sadly, this spoilt what might have been a silly and childishly enjoyable game. Regardless, it's worth downloading especially if you have kids - who might need punishing for spending all your money and ruining your life. Whaaaat?

You can find this game and lots more over at Exxos' excellent Floppyshop archive (GAM-3341)

Oh No! Not More Radioactive Mineshafts

A simple idea perfectly executed

Not since Rumbo or Hector vs The Mutant Vampire Tomatoes From Hell have I loved a title. I mean, come on, Oh No! Not More Radioactive Mineshafts - how fantastic!! This is a catch 'em style game released by Breakpoint Software (Jon Garry) for the Atari STe and, once again, the 'PD' world comes up trumps with a charming title.

We are a penguin who has somehow fallen down a mineshaft. Hmm, okay... To escape we need to collect colourful blocks which are raining down from above using our head. Yes, I said using our head!! Before a level begins, we are instructed on the number and type of each block to be nutted by our noggin before a timer expires.

The ones that you miss will fall onto the ground and these then become radioactive (I presume). And that also means they will slide away to the sides of the screen. Your job is to hop over them without dying and that's as technical as it gets. Thankfully, there is a password system to skip directly to any level - brilliant!!

Surely I can beat Tony Hart and Les Dennis!!!

Input & Output

Controls are best using a joystick (keyboard sucks). You can move left or right plus hitting the fire button (or pushing upwards) allows you to leap over the radioactive sliding blocks. Right from the start, the gameplay is fast and I'm incredibly impressed with the controls which are superbly responsive. In fact, they are perfect.

Graphically, these mineshafts aren't half bleak: a black screen with colourful blocks. Okay, the penguin sprite is cute, the palette is always bright and bold for those squares and everything breezes along at a smooth pace. I love the menus which are very kaleidoscopically and something like you would see in a demo!

Audio is where things shine and throughout are some of the most spectacular tunes by musicians like Tao, Big Alec, Sally of STAX(hello Jon!), Mad Max and Count Zero. All are electrifying and something rather special.

A password system? Ohh, brillopads!! ^ ^

The CryptO'pinion?

This is a frantically simple game that I've thoroughly enjoyed - even if it did drive me nuts!! I'm unsure whether it will appeal to everyone but give it a go because you never know? My only criticism is the lack of a points display, which means you won't know whether you've done enough to progress - until the timer has expired.

Oh No! Not More Radioactive Mineshafts is infuriatingly addictive and will certainly have you screaming at your SC1224 in no time. It is irritating, agonising and yet ever so simple and addictive. An exhilarating game!

Download from AtariMania or

Stonish with a great menu disk by Pure Energy [video]

Boogey Man

Bogey or crow?

Scouring through the ST archives, I found something silly called Boogey Man, by Anthony Hamilton. The screenshots reminded me of an old 8-Bit game but, if I'm honest, it really isn't anything close to what I expected.

This is a tough one to describe... but... we are Burt, a guy who loves to collect snot. Yup, you heard me - snot. And there is plenty of that popping up all over your screen in both small and large doses. There are nine levels in all which might sound too easy? It's not because the controls are super-sensitive which makes the entire experience very chaotic as you agonisingly attempt to carefully navigate, avoiding the nasties. Yes, it's as mad as it sounds but, great fun.

There are bad guys which come in two flavours, a Blob and a Spike. Touching either kills you instantly so beware. Watch the timer, which is just another way to lose a life - and you can see that happen to me near the end of my recording. A boogeyometer is shown bottom/right of the screen to display how much snot remains to be collected. Once accomplished, an exit door appears on the right and we can leg it to the next level for more snotty fun.

Right, it's time for a screenshot so let's begin with an informative one...

Burt seems to love snot for some peculiar reason but look out for the nasties who wanna stop you.

Aesthetics

The visuals are basic and very 8-bit, which is something I often admire because it works very well from a more simplistic time. Well, it works here too. Interestingly, this game runs in Medium resolution which explains the fine details and lack of colour. I liked the sprites, especially Blob, but there's nothing here pushing the old ST of course and that's fine.

However, the audio will certainly entertain - the kids. Ohhhh, and the big kids too - like me. I absolutely loved it but I should say nothing more to spoil your surprise other than Anthony made excellent use of MasterSound!!!

Struggling to understand just why I played this game? Better check out this screenshot then...

Gameplay relies on fudgy controls to make it feel quite chaotic. Can you beat level nine?

The CryptO'pinion?

Whatever you're thinking when you see the screenshots - stop. Since when did cinematic visuals ever matter? The idea and gameplay are simple but humorous and incredibly entertaining. Yes, the controls initially feel too snappy, but you will get used to that and anything different would just make the game far too easy. So it's perfect as is.

Boogey Man is a ridiculous game and one I'm sure your kids will love for all the obvious reasons. I know that I loved every second of it and I've just heard there's a Boogey Man II listed on AtariMania... dare I try the sequel? LOL