Techno Cop

I Am The Law!

Have you ever booted up something that instantly felt cheap and tacky yet you spent hours playing and never once considered hitting the reset button? Think Club Drive for the Atari Jaguar... Well, here is a game by Gremlin Graphics that tries to blend two genres: car racing and a quiet walk through rough neighbourhoods.

If you hadn't already guessed, we're one of the heroes in blue but, no ordinary policeman. No, we're a Techno Cop under orders to take down various members of the DOA - Death On Arrival. This is a huge gang of thugs who enjoy fast cars, live in abandoned buildings and look like extras from a Death Wish movie!

Being a Techno Cop must be cool because they get to drive a VMAX Turbo Interceptor sports car and use a Magnum to kill anyone they don't like the look of. That's about as technical as it gets and I love that simplicity! So, ignoring first impressions, I booted up this apparently crude and violent arcade game.

Shall we take a gander at a screenshot from the racing part...

It's hardly Crazy Cars 3 or Vroom, but this is a fun section of an insane game!

All In A Day's Work

For each stage (scene of a crime), we begin behind the wheel of a fancy sports car on the way to a troubled hotspot. The roads are cluttered with DOA agents but our VMAX is fitted with a cannon to blast those suckers into smithereens. The dashboard shows speed, revs and even a damage meter that worsens with each roadside skirmish. Also displayed is the distance to a crime hotspot - so put the pedal to the metal!

Upon arriving, get out for a stretch of the legs and the game flips into a scrolling shoot 'em up quite similar to Thunder Jaws or Rolling Thunder. These rundown apartment blocks are full of trash, graffiti, thugs, hookers and even rats that nibble your toes. The thugs are relentless; carrying chains, whips, baseball bats, knives, etc. It's now that you should use the magnum and blast 'em into a gloopy mess of blood. More, later...

Mission objectives detail how you should uphold the law; be it a hostage situation, a mugging in progress, a boss to eliminate, etc. To help follow these orders, use your wrist gadget that shows lives, score, and jumping energy - plus you can even swap the magnum for a net (to capture rather than kill). Importantly, it also features a radar to help locate each boss. Beware, this isn't a direct route so you may need to use the elevators to avoid a dead-end. Completing a mission grants points and promotion through the twelve ranks:

1 Grunt... 2 Rookie... 3 Flat Foot... 4 Patrol Man... 5 Cop... 6 Officer...
7 Sergeant... 8 Enforcer... 9 Commander... 10 Top Cop... 11 Chief...
12 Technocop

Okay, now that you have an idea of this whacky game, let's take a look at the next screenshot...

Hey, have I got the time? Erm, no I don't so let's just move on searching for bad guys!

Gimme That Joystick!

The VMAX handles like a wooden wedge, unrealistic. Okay, this is an arcade racer and nothing serious but, even so, it's lagging way behind something like Crazy Cars 3, Test Drive, Lotus 2 or Buggy Boy. And by a mile. Sadly, it's all too easy to crank up the damage by smashing into the roadside objects when preoccupied with shooting enemy cars. Plus, I didn't care for the initially sluggish rate of fire. Road Blasters, this stage is not!!

I learnt that it's good practice to simply rush to the next crime hotspot, ignoring the DOA cars the best you can. This is not only quicker but saves lots of potential damage so your game should last longer too. Plus, quick racers are awarded upgrades such as a turbo boost and (much needed) faster firing.

The crime stages are best - we can walk, crouch, leap, and run through (yet another) condemned building. The leaping is ace, allows you to explore quicker, and is best when surrounded by henchmen. The radar is a huge help and I doubt it would be possible to complete any mission without using it. And learning the map.

Gun love is why we're here and Techno Cop is superb. In fact, there are times I forget I'm a policeman and behave more like an escaped psychopath because it's easy to ignore the plan and go about killing everyone. Even the odd innocent kid stupidly runs by or when playing outside. The death of all victims is bloody and violent as they scream and explode into piles of gloop. Gloop with eyes stuck on top. Brilliantly brutal and I love it.

You won't believe how cool that is. Argh, go on then, here is a screenshot to prove it...

Come on, how cool is that? Play the game and enjoy the effect for yourself lol

Aesthetics 80s-Style!

The driving scenes are bland with little scenery and average framerates. Though I did like the mountains and the palette choices/changes. Weirdly, the DOA cars are cumbersome beasts and the road changes too quickly to be driven well. The fuzzy sampled sound effects are great. Okay, it's not Turbo Cup but I enjoyed them.

The scrolling-crime parts are excellent!! Each building is packed with incredible attention to detail: litter, traps, graffiti, broken plaster, damaged floors, dead bodies, loot, and traps. It's the perfect environment for the Michael Winner movies!! Enemy sprites are nicely animated and detailed, even down to their spikey punk hair. Okay, the scrolling could have been better but at least the developers didn't wimp out with push/flick.

Audio is made using crunchy samples which add to the violent atmosphere although I don't understand why our Techno Cop makes a silly "meow" when he jumps! The best sound effect from the entire game is the screaming explosions when killing a criminal - your gun can turn a human into a horrendous pile of slop! It's brilliant and makes Techno Cop one of the most hilarious killers you could imagine. Fan-freaking-tastic!!

It's fun, fun, fun and looks/sounds the part. So one more screenshot of me getting promoted...

Promotion leads to better gameplay with many more baddies all too willing to challenge me!

The CryptO'pinion?

You can't go wrong with fast cars and big guns. This game has what it takes but there are a few niggles that bugged me: the driving stage feels like a clunky afterthought but the power-ups are a neat touch. The missions are pretty much the same, thus quite repetitive and later tasks require more time.

Techno Cop still scores very highly because of its arcade styles, and killing scumbags is quite simply brilliant. Okay, it could have been better in parts but blasting baddies into a pile of mush is bliss. I loved it.

Download for floppy or hard drive.

Frogs

Kermit would be proud!

I've been given an opportunity to playtest the latest alpha v1.2 update of Frogs by Thomas Ilg. I previously got to play this cute game of strategic hopping which feels like a lifetime ago. Thankfully, Thomas didn't stop tinkering and made improvements: faster code, additional Atari STe features, and other interesting ideas (some I didn't like).

For those who don't know, our game is based on the Commodore 64 original by Dr. Wuro Industries. Thomas is using the Blitter and DMA Audio plus the gameplay is faster with up to 4-players. Anyhow, I've had a play with the latest release and reported back my thoughts. That's always a worrying time but it was long before I was given an update.

Okay, before we carry on, let's take a look at the first screenshot using Atari ST graphics. What? Look...

It's crazy with four froggies hopping around the screen but have you that many friends?

Uh, a Froggy game?

Yep, and frogs love ponds so each screen is a giant pond of rocks/lilypads that stay floating on the water's surface - for a short time. Hop around the screen, look for bugs, and then press fire to stick out your tongue to feed your belly. Be quick and beat the other players but watch out because the computer AI is actually quite superb - plus it's fun watching them brawl amongst themselves!! Oh, tongues have more than one use so don't be a pushover, okay?

Numerous ponds are available with three different gameplay modes and support for 2-4 players. Controls are unique featuring support for the keyboard, joystick, Jagpad, or ST4PLAYER via the parallel port. Players can either be human or computer-controlled and there's even the option for a Midi link-up. Come on, tell me you're not impressed!!

Wanna see another screenshot? How about one using C64 graphics? Yes, on the Atari ST...

The C64 graphics are superb and add something extra retro to the game.

Yeah, Commodore!

Our Atari version features various enhancements, one being scrolling. Yup, the playfield (umm, pond) now scrolls and, in my recording, you can see how great this works. It's a treat and I (mostly) loved it. However, I thought that the single-player mode needed to scroll "more" because it felt somehow short or restricted (to me). So a new "Single Frog Scrolling" option has been implemented for one-player and this also includes the C64 mode. Incredible support!

Of course, purists will be relieved to hear that scrolling will be an option selectable from within the game's menu. Yup, it won't be forced which I personally think will please folk from all corners of the scene? Well, I hope so!

The graphic modes are going to shine alongside the recent (and staggering) framerate improvements when running on the Atari STe - we're talking 2VBL / 25fps. I'm also happy to announce other improvements in the pipeline, like the decals which I thought desperately needed changing!! Wow, I can moan about stuff, right?

Steve the frog always wins because he's the greatest!! :o)

The CryptO'pinion?

Frogs is a brilliant game and my sneak peek is proving to be extremely fascinating. For me, the option to scroll the screen is a fantastic idea and is implemented very well. Additionally, I'm happy to see Thomas is not restricting the Atari STe with the limitations of the older Atari ST or the Commodore 64. I'm excited to see what comes next - watch this space folks!

* Update: Frogs v1.2 is now available to download *

If you've been living on another planet and missed out on this amphibious wonder, I suggest you head over to AtariMania and download it right away. Sorry, but you will have to wait a little longer to play v1.2 :-)

Consider buying Frogs boxed w/ its multiplayer adapter!!

Nightbreed - The Interactive Movie

Back when they knew how to make great horror movies

I remember watching Nightbreed back in the day and absolutely loved it. Okay, it was a little cheesy but I'm a fan of most horror genres and Clive Barker never disappoints. It had such a different twist to its style and atmosphere and I loved the idea of Midian with its freaks - being the good guys. Something I didn't expect at the time.

Being the weirdo that I am, I would have loved to see Midian for myself one dark night - of course, armed with nothing more than a flashlight!! Alas, it was never meant to be... well... until now that is!! Thanks to Ocean, and their amazing dedication to movie tie-ins, I finally have their Nightbreed which tries to follow the original plot as best it can. This time it's what's called an interactive adventure, umm, with some arcade action thrown in for good measure.

Right then, let's stop the natter and check out some of the screenshots from this scary game...

Don't listen to the bad man...

Hey, check out that 90s hairdo (and Aaron's nipples! lol)

The gameplay area is pretty large and feels a lot bigger thanks to the laborious car journey!

Armed with a torch, we head into the dark woods!

As you can imagine, we play as Aaron Boone and begin our adventure in the doctor's office listening to his lies. Yup, he's trying to trick us into a confession for something we haven't done - our world is collapsing in on itself. After this introduction plays through, we're presented with a map of the area which has many roads. Here you can travel to three possible destinations: the redneck police station, an ever-attractive asylum, and the mysterious Midian Town.

To drive, we use the overhead map of the area using the mouse and click each intersection of any road. However, watch out for hidden roadblocks that present a decision: do you smash through like a rebel or turn around to find an alternative route? Keep your eyes on the fuel gauge, I wouldn't like to get stuck on these roads at nighttime...

Deciding where to go is completely up to you but take a look at this map first, before you start burning unnecessary fuel. And then think to yourself what would Aaron Boone do? Everything may look very similar but each action you make (generally) has a different outcome: I made my way to the hospital in my first game, but (ahem) that didn't go very well.

Not well at all, actually! Check out the screenshot I got to see on my first game...

What a nightmare it is to be shackled and caged like a beast!

Arghh!! Caught and locked away in a padded cell for the rest of my days!

Just listen to his howling!! Wow :o

I've been eaten, again!

Of course, being the eager adventure, I restarted and headed straight to Midian. Here I was given three options: I chose to enter Midian itself which is something I was really looking forward to. However, I think this was a bad choice because I was instantly torn to pieces by a Berserker without any possible chance to defend myself. What an ending!!

I never gave up and tried again with my foolish venture into Midian but, this time, I was set upon by something else that was extremely vicious. However, this is where I finally got to see Nightbreed's action scenes as I ran away like a scared chicken. This part has you banging on the mouse button to separate two sprites at the top of your screen - one to represent you and the chasing monster. I escaped but trigger-happy cops were waiting and I found myself in the morgue!

As you can see, my fortune in this game is pretty terrible. Let's see some screenshots...

I made a poor decision and the doctor was waiting for me...

He brought the cops. Who shot me into pieces!

Midian is full of freaks... but I gotta admire the artwork and a dodgy game of chase!!

Horrorscope!

Visually, Nightbreed doesn't fail to impress and features many screens with gorgeous artwork. I love the eerie tones that make use of great palette choices to honour the movie's atmosphere nicely. However, the animations are pretty lame and I dare you not to laugh when being chased However, it's this part where I thought Aaron looked like David Boreanaz [remember the vamp Angel] as his image wobbles back 'n' forth. Or is it just me?

The audio is also excellent. Okay, I'd have liked more background sounds but, what we have, is sampled and pretty darn awesome. Easily my favourite sound effect is when we're captured and held captive in the asylum: this is probably one of the scariest samples I've ever heard in any game. It's incredible. Listen to it!!

Remember when I said I found myself in the morgue? Well, that doesn't necessarily mean game over...

Oh no, I'm not doing too well... Well, I did end up in the morgue so that's never good!

Well, I never expected that... this is turning into an old Hammer House of Horror movie!!

The CryptO'pinion?

I've enjoyed Nightbreed with its weird storyline and freaky aesthetics that I'm sure Clive Barker would appreciate. The game is big and offers quite a challenge but I was left a little disappointed - considering this is an interactive adventure - as I imagined a lot more actual "interaction". Also, I felt blindly forced into following a predetermined and limited plot - one wrong move and you're dead. Which isn't brilliant for what is supposed to be a free-roaming adventure scenario.

Don't get me wrong, this is no Dragon's Lair and I'm sure fans will get something from this interactive movie tie-in. I loved the ability to venture into Midian for myself but I simply feel more could have been done to exploit the setting and storyline with its wide variety of Midian monsters. I enjoyed it as it's not a bad game just not a great one.

Here are a few screenshots to tempt you into downloading Nightbreed for floppy or hard drive!

Robotz

Chicken, fight like a robot!

Robotz is a game I got on a cover disk; it was developed by P Fox of ProjectX and feels somewhat like a tactical version of Berzerk. Once again, we find ourselves in deep space on board a ship that has been invaded - by robots. As the last surviving crew member, we must eliminate them before they take over the ship.

This won't be easy because each room has electrified walls for instant death! Each room is different and populated by randomly placed robots who follow your movements in their own specific order (use that to your advantage). We are armed with a one-shot gun but the robots are protected by a shield. However, you can stun them for a few seconds. If only there was a shield generator we could blast into smithereens?

For a homebrew game, I adore the visuals that remind me of a cross between Xenon and Leavin' Teramis. The palette is gorgeously metallic and I adore the shadows that add depth to the scenario. All sprites are simple but nicely detailed and animated and I always giggle at our protagonist's legs as he walks. It's funny but nowhere near as entertaining as his "ouch" scream when losing a life! Why didn't he wear rubber gloves?

Robotz is a cracking example of what lurks inside the Atari ST's public domain library. A stunningly stressful game with bundles of tension and anxiety. Yeah, Robotz is tough but tremendously addictive. Play it.

Each level has a design that demands lots of time to master the tighter areas.

Those robots are indestructible! Surely there's a way to kill them?

Some levels have more freedom to move, but that doesn't mean they're easy!

This level is extremely tricky. When I say tricky, I mean agonisingly difficult!!

Hmm, this appears easy? One generator... but... three droids!

Oh no, this level features TWO generators to destroy BEFORE the robots are killable.

Custodian

Help! What do I do? Everything wants to kill me!!

I've been going through my old videos and found this frantic 8-way shooter by legends, Hewson. Programmed by Chris Hinsley, who also made the awesome Onslaught and Verminator, it features stunningly fast visuals which whiz across your screen like lightning. It's crazy and these are all by Nigel Brownjohn who was behind one of my fave platformers, Beyond the Ice Palace. The audio is gorgeous, all thanks to the magic of Dave Whittaker.

We are a "custodian" of a massive tomb which has been infested by alien parasites. Obviously, we've gotta clean up this place which means killing everything! The best part is that we not only look like something from the demoscene [cough] but are also equipped with an armed jetpack. Zooming about this place is exciting stuff but the aliens are relentless and the basic mechanics just don't work well together, so it soon becomes a demented slog!

Chris sure knew how to program the Atari ST but I feel he has missed the mark here. There's just too much going on with confusing and relentless gameplay. But, perhaps I'm wrong? If you're feeling brave then Custodian can be run from a floppy or hard drive. Get ready and brace yourself for a rough journey!! Let me know what you think...

Attack!! Attack!! Attack!! Attack!! Attack!! Attack!! ARGHHHH!! Help me, somebody!!

Too much!! Too much!! What's going on? Everything wants me dead... Oh, I died!

Sleuth

I've been searching...

After the jaw-dropping Berzerk, I searched what might lurk inside the ST's archives. Eventually, I found Sleuth a PD game released by Larry Scholz of MajicSoft in 1993. The year is 2525 and man's existence is threatened by evil cybernetic organisms (yup, robots!) created by Dr Spirit. A simple storyline for a familiar game. Okay, it's not what you would call an authentic clone (ahem) but the premise is there for another Berzerker!

We are Inspector Sleuth and about to infiltrate the doctor's lair to show these clumps of metal who's in charge! Gone are the randomly generated screens, replaced with a map populated by six different models of the doctor's robots. These range from the Hemroid which is a low-level (wait for it) "pain in the butt" to the Hopperoids with warp technology, so don't get too close. Come on, you must love Larry's humour?

Movement and firing are performed in all eight directions using the joystick. Defend yourself using an armour-piercing gun that features a nuclear charge to incinerate all robots from the inside out. You still need to stay clear of the electrified walls and if you hang about for too long, something freaky appears after a short time to chase you across the screen. Now we're back on the familiar Berzerker ground lol.

So, is it better than Berzerk? Not on your nelly! Sleuth feels like a tacky ripoff with rubbery controls and dodgy graphics. I can imagine that shocks you? Have I just wasted your time writing this mini-review? No. Regardless, Sleuth is a good game in its own right and is nice to play something different. You may have noticed I've not mentioned the audio? The chip fx are good but, the music? Wait and see for yourself!

For what it's worth, my 8-year-old daughter loves this shooter. She played several games badly and never understood why the walls killed her. But, she loved it!! I must admit, so did I. Remember, it's not Berzerk so keep an open mind and give it a fair playtest. Let me know what you think in the comments below.

Sleuth can be downloaded over at the legendary Demozoo website.

IGNORE the graphics!! Gameplay counts the most, whether it's perfect or not.

Shoot anything that looks... erm... weird. Don't think, just shoot!!

Bold / Wiliness III

 

 

BeST laid plans...

I recently came upon an unreleased shooter called Bold, by Laurent Kermel. I then did something guys don't normally do - I read the documentation!! This listed his website - which still works - and that linked through to an Atari ST section that details unfinished ST games. Just look at these pictures (above) of Slug, Dragoon Twins, Tenesis, and Empire. Impressive STuff I'm sure you will agree / lost to time. O_o

I contacted Laurent to thank him for Bold and another game I downloaded - a Dungeon Master clone called Wiliness 3. I've only just started to play that, but boy is it a cracker. Laurent is a really nice guy who I enjoyed talking with - I urgently suggest fans of either shooters or RPGs, should play Bold and Wiliness 3.

Here's the link to the Atari ST section of his current website along with his superb YouTube video.

- B O L D -

Lazy programmers say the ST can't scroll

Bold is fantastic, albeit unfinished, shoot 'em up for the Atari ST/e and is influenced by a number of other games. I personally feel it's a cross between Zynaps or R-Type with fast and frantic gameplay as every enemy zooms onto the screen like they're on steroids. Quick reactions are the order of the day.

I love the graphics but it's a shame there's a large part of the screen unused - probably meant for a status panel? Bold isn't controlled using a joystick but instead the mouse and, I admit that the thought of this failed to impress me, at first. I changed my mind after the first play because it's perfect for sharp manoeuvrability.

Any model of ST is compatible but Bold plays better (and smoother) if you have a Blitter chip. Of course, all Atari STe computers are fine but others may need to shop with exxos to fill that empty socket inside their STFM. Sadly, those really old pre-1987 STs might not even have an empty socket so I imagine an extra cost?

Although unfinished, Bold is furiously great with precise mouse control I loved. A thrilling shooter!!

The Bold web page has the download and a nifty walkthrough of each level.

I made a video but I hate YouTube so advise you don't watch and instead PLAY the game :-)

A cheat code is mentioned in the interview with Laurent within Alive Magazine #09.

Chris Swinson, aka Exxos, sells Blitter chips but I've now exhausted my hardware knowledge...

- W I L I N E S S  III -

Grab a flask and sword, we're going in!!

Laurent developed a Dungeon Master clone called Wiliness 3 which is shockingly professional and could have been a rival to the FTL classic. The RPG experience is amazing with a familiar user interface as we crawl through another creepy dungeon. Of course, it's unfinished but 6 levels are playable plus I liked the control system and those eerie sound effects. Wiliness had the potential to be a winner. It really did...

This is something I need to spend a weekend on sometime soon. Brilliant dungeon crawler!

The Wiliness web page has the download and a BUCKET load of helpful information!

Check out Walls Of Illusion, and the newly updated Dungeon Master for the Atari STe.

 

Mudpies

Time for a Food Fight!

Mud Pies is one of the oldest Atari ST games we have and stars a kid called Arnold. He loved the circus - until it came to his town so he threw a pie at one of the clowns. Unfortunately, these clowns aren't known for having a sense of humour and chased after him! There's only one thing left to do - throw more pies!!

Each screen represents a tent in the circus with an invading army of clowns - they're like jelly monsters dressed up as Ronald McDonald! They wander, waving their arms and chucking juggling pins. This invasion lasts forever but the pies won't! Look for an open door to another tent full of mud pies - and more clowns.

Throwing a mud pie at a clown will see them flying off the screen (even more will score extra points). However, try not to get trapped in a corner otherwise, you might receive a juggling pin knockout blow!

I can imagine this is starting to sound insane? Well, check out the 1985 graphics and try not to laugh...

Just imagine the look on today's kids if you show 'em this 1985 game. Will they "get it"?

Simple, yet brilliant!

Challenge rooms are different from the standard tents because they have no mud pies but instead, lots of clowns to avoid whilst grabbing the prizes - for 1000 points. Every 20,000 points, a secret door will appear for the chance to enter into a Mudslinging Round where you have 30secs to throw pies at wandering clowns!!

Don't clown about too much! Getting hit isn't good for your health and dying shows your body being carried away on a stretcher to the first aid tent. That can happen only three times before it's game over. Talented pie chuckers will be delighted that freebie lives are awarded every 10,000 points. A nice bonus.

Keep an eye on the health meter displayed top/left - this is split into three segments with the middle one enabling you to run fast. However, this speed is reduced if you become too hungry or overly bloated on burgers and fries. The trick is to keep your health a nice happy medium throughout for maximum agility.

Come on, let's pause this reading and take a look at another quality screenshot...

Always frantic, always fun and so addictive. This game is eternal!!

Aesthetics

Graphically, this isn't stressing the Atari ST in the slightest. But remember that it was developed and released in 1985 before programmers knew how to push our computer. Having said that, it's got a certain Charley Chuck charm to it and, as a gamer since the early 1980s, I love its retro feel. No, I absolutely love it :)

Spot-sound effects are fine, but it is best to leave the music on. Again, this isn't anything near the quality we are used to hearing but it's still surprisingly enjoyable. No complaints, it's an old game remember!

Come on guys, how a game looks and sounds never really matters. Mudpies certainly proves this...

Oh, just take a look at the high-score table!! Can ya' beat me??? ;-)

The CryptO'pinion?

It's impressive that MichTron (Philip McKenzie and Jeffrey Sorenson) knocked this out for a computer that was practically unknown back in 1985. I can't imagine how exciting that was - and daunting too. But when Mudpies came along it must have been a breath of fresh air to all those rich people that could afford an ST!

Think what you will, but Mudpies is a terribly entertaining take on Food Fight with silly gameplay that transports us back to our youth. Abusing clowns is never boring - I can't imagine a better way to spend an afternoon than slinging mud pies at them. This is so much FUN and that's what matters most. Play this.

Grab a piece of this old skool action for either floppy or hard drive. Enjoy!!

Motor Massacre

Mad Max with choppy graphics?

Motor Massacre was released by Gremlin Graphics and feels like a wicked blend of a number of my favourite games. The action takes place in a grim post-apocalyptic future where each city is suffering from the devastation of war and resembles a Mad Max movie! All food stores were destroyed in the holocaust so people were starving until Doctor A. Noid came up with a substitute called "SLU" to help the waning populous. This all sounds great, right?

Why are these masterminds almost always qualified doctors? Anyhow, it was all a trick because SLU tastes like poo and turns people into zombies! So it's up to you to rescue the city from its psychotic drivers, explore buildings, and then battle in a demolition derby event to ultimately find the doctor and end this misery. See, it's basically Mad Max in game form :)

Pandy's Pork Palace sounds a lot better than it actually is!

It's Carmageddon out there!

Yes, this is more than one single game: the cities are explored from the comfort of an ATV - top/down similar to Chicago 90 but when inside buildings, it changes to something like Time Bandit or Gauntlet.

Driving around the city is tremendous fun because you are completely free to roam the streets and that also means blasting at anyone who might get in your way. All other drivers are out for blood and want you dead by any means and their road rage antics are vicious - so defend yourself using the cannon fitted to your vehicle.

Use this to blast the suckers into oblivion but also watch out for hazards such as oil spills and explosives carelessly left lying in the road. Do note the gun turrets which line many streets and are annoyingly highly accurate.

It's demolition derby time when we can shove other cars into dark oblivion.

Explore and have fun!

An interesting "mechanic" is how your vehicle's appearance alters the more damage it endures, so I'm grateful the holocaust didn't destroy the repair shops which also offer a wide range of other services like fuel, weapons, and ammo. The mechanic working here scares me, but I like his T-shirt! There are some more places and these offer a good opportunity to collect goods like weapons and health, so look out for their location using the road markings (Pandy's Pork Palace is available right from the start and contains a handy ATV upgrade).

You soon discover that these various places are thriving with ghouls and other creatures lurking in the shadows. Nowhere is safe, but you're armed with a pistol so shoot first and ask questions later! Keep searching these areas and you should find an arena pass to the demolition derby. This event is pure Carmageddon and nothing beats pushing your opponents into a chasm! Success here, grants you access to the next city.

The mechanic is freaky. It's almost on a Chucky level here... (shudder)

Aesthetics?

Visually, this is a basic affair with crudely-drawn graphics and jerky scrolling to boot. However, I must admit being mightily impressed with the animation of the running men which reminded me of Impossible Mission.

Sadly, the sound effects are probably worse than the visuals. Truly terrible.

However, we need him because the roads in the future are just terrible.

The CryptO'pinion?

Motor Massacre has been a nice surprise. Sure, it's about as glam as a dog turd but I enjoyed the mix of arcade-style action with levels of adventure lurking below the surface. Also, being able to enter buildings adds that extra dynamic which I loved - and there's always something stupid waiting for you! So don't take it seriously and have fun.

I have enjoyed zipping around the city looking for my next victim. It's crude but fantastic and really enjoyable!!

Mel Gibson wannabes can download the floppies
Tear up the roads like Mad Max!

Dragon Lord

Have you ever spent time trying to learn a game only walk away completely baffled and wondering why you bothered? Well, here is Dragon Lord, an extremely unusual multi-screen platformer released in 1990 by 16-32 Diffusion. We are playing the part of a huge dragon who appears to be living in a whole wide world of weird! The objective is to become the new dragon lord which means plundering through over a hundred screens looking for artefacts, killing some fascinating creatures and ultimately battling an evil guardian.

Gameplay is simplistic thus easy to pick-up and it's fun breathing fire onto a scorched enemy. I found the map design a little laborious and would often end up getting lost so I would instead spend my time burning down the bad guys!! However, the control a clumsy because we are a massive dragon sprite moving around tight environments.

The visuals are quite (ahem) unique. Pretty amateur artwork that looks like it was coloured in by somebody suffering from colour-blindness. Ignoring this graphical nightmare because Dragon Lord’s sprites are massive and also of a great and humorous variety! Sadly the sound effects are pretty much a joke and the less said the better!

Overall, I was quite disappointed because I can see the potential but it doesn’t gel together very well. Dragon Lord's poor mechanics and eye-bleeding graphics spoil what could have been an interesting game. Having said all that, I did find myself having “just one more go” yet I cannot for the life of me think why. Perhaps I'm going mad?

The Untouchables

I need a cold beer!

When I first started playing this game, I thought it was a damn fine platform/shooter with some pretty cool graphics that scroll across the screen very smoothly. The gameplay isn't easy, it's frantic and never lets up so is very challenging. But it's all downhill after this stage because the other levels feel rushed and I never did enjoy "shooting gallery" games outside of the arcades. The Untouchables might be showing off its diversity but sometimes enough is enough.

Perhaps the biggest disappointment is the final level which I hoped would share some similarities with Alien Syndrome or Gauntlet. Sadly this wasn't the case and I think the developers are truly sadistic!! An irritating level. So, the first level is brilliant because it's all about killing people but, the other levels? Hmm, not so much.

I feel bad writing this as Ocean are gaming gods with quality Atari ST games within their library. Heck, I remember Ocean when they were called Spectrum Software, but every company made some stinkers, right?

A game of many genres doesn't work. In fact, it fails because it becomes a jack of all trades rather than a master. So, I would rate level one around 90% because it's great fun. However, as an overall rating, The Untouchables be around 60%

Cheats for the floppy game -

1. Pause the game first with F10 key and then :
2. Level 1 - type in BRIDGE ROLLS to begin level 2
3. Level 2 - type in MAC N ALLEY to begin level 3
4. Level 3 - type in KID ZAPPING to begin level 4
5. Level 4 - type in A NIT IN TIME to begin level 5

Cheats for the hard drive game -

1. Pause with F10
2. then press N N (twice) to skip to the next level.

Yeah, I own this game!! :o)