Jungle Hero

Take cover fast!

I remember those episodes of classic 80s TV shows like The A-Team, where they would trek through a jungle in some third-world country to rescue hostages held by the cartel. It was so cheesy and totally unrealistic, yet always entertaining. I really miss the 1980s, especially the TV shows and the music!

Anyway, let's not dwell too much because Jungle Hero takes us back to those days. It’s a straightforward game created in STOS for the Atari ST (not the STe) by Jason Holliday in 1989. There are just four screens, but the objective is simple - on the first screen, there’s a sleeping guard. Sneak up and take him out, but watch out for three twigs precariously lying on the ground. Breaking them will alert the guard.

The second and third screens are about ducking and dodging until you get close enough to take the shot. Unfortunately, I failed, so I jumped through and exploited an obvious bug in the code. The final screen’s a breeze - just shoot the boss holding the (invisible) hostage. Then, it's back to the beginning to repeat the whole thing, like an endless nightmare lol. I managed to rescue one prisoner, but that was as far as I got.

I think it's clear by now - this game is an absolute disaster. It’s awful beyond words. The controls are so finicky that even the smallest mistake gets you shot. The basic mechanics make no sense, and you just die over and over again. It's a constant cycle of frustration. Also, the graphics look like something I would have drawn, and the animations are a joke. Honestly, it’s probably the tackiest game I’ve ever played.

So why on God's green earth am I featuring Jungle Hero?

Easy. Because this is a brilliant game. It's ridiculous, makes no sense, and is mind-numbingly pointless. However, I kept on playing. I couldn't stop. Not only that but the death scenes are incredible, packed with 'gore'. There might only be four badly designed and senseless screens, but trust me, you’ve got to give this a go.

Jungle Hero is so bad it's great! No, it's actually terrible but I absolutely loved it.

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He's fast asleep but too far away. Tread carefully and shoot him when close enough.

You're supposed to be able to duck from his firing but I found that impossible.

This giant won't even shoot if you hop towards him like Bugs Bunny!

One final shot rescues the hostage. Not them all, just one...

Yomo

Harrier Attack 

Yomo is an old-skool-styled shoot ’em up by Aaron Fothergill for Mandarin Software. It even managed to place runner-up in the 1989 Games Writer of the Year competition, which is no small feat. I’ve had this one on my bucket list for years, largely because of its 8-bit vibe, which reminded me of games I played as a youngster back in the early '80s. Is anyone else a 50-something and reminded of Harrier Attack?

The action unfolds in a two-dimensional world filled with destructible buildings and an assortment of vehicles, all governed by wonderfully infuriating physics. You play as a tiny stickman tasked with recovering a dodgy nuke dropped behind enemy lines. Naturally, the locals aren’t thrilled about this, and you’re soon under constant attack. They're the baddies, so why not fire off heat-seeking missiles, leap into whatever creaking aircraft happens to be nearby, and cause as much destruction as possible? Going on foot is rarely fun, but if you spot enemy stickmen wobbling across the screen, a quick tap of the fire button will gun 'em down!!

Visually, this is no Bitmap Brothers showpiece, so keep expectations low. The graphics are crude, with tiny sprites and rough scrolling that had my Atari STe crying out in agony. Boy, is the scrolling bad. That said, the sound effects fare much better, with plenty of crunchy samples, the crack of lightning being my favourite.

Yomo is, frankly, a bit pants, yet it’s also undeniably lots of fun. The freedom to jump into almost any aircraft is genius, even if limited ammunition and the fiddly process of resupplying can be maddening in the heat of battle. It’s frustrating and unfair, but if you enjoy blowing things up, Yomo is probably worth your time.

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