Things That Made Us Go Hmmm....

Almost a Megademo

Every so often, I come across a demo I have not seen before, and today, I’ve got a rather good one - Things That Made Us Go Hmmm by The Watchmen. It starts with the above screen, cycling through a range of psychedelic colours that look absolutely stunning!! The main menu plays an original (ahem) tune and also reminded me of Life’s a Bitch by The Lost Boys. From here, you can access a selection of five demos…

> Now There's A Frood. This one features multiple background layers scrolling in different directions, along with a scroller that you’d struggle to read unless you’re an owl! It’s packed with proper old-school effects, executed brilliantly, and paired with some super-duper music.

> A Toaster Called Zippy. I first came across this a while back and absolutely loved it. I even recorded it because I was so taken with its simple yet stylish 3D presentation and that (Mmmm) compelling chip music. Thanks to a couple of cool chaps, I later found out the music is from the movie Fletch - how did I not spot that straight away?

> There's A Flower Dying In The Vase On My Shoulder. Quite possibly one of the strangest title ever! It starts with a simple screen featuring a massive logo and a sweet chiptune. Then, the full-screen scroller kicks in! It’s been done a million times before, but this is still a fantastic screen.

> The Joy Of Sex. No, not what you’re thinking! But if you’re expecting swirling, sexy 3D visuals, you’re in for a treat. This was easily my favourite demo of the lot - not because of full-screen effects or flashy extras (because there aren’t any), but because the 3D itself is superb. The thick, vibrant lines give it a laser-like effect, making it look absolutely stunning.

> The Fifth Screen. This one is a greetings demo packed with... well, greetings and lots of stars!

One more thing I must also mention is each demo's loading screen which has incredible artwork. Overall, this is a superb demo and I tip my hat to The Watchmen because I've enjoyed it as if it were 1992.

Demozoo has the download and also a dedicated group page for The Watchmen.

Credits

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Chris(tophe) - Code

Ian - Graphics

Mad Max - Music

Zogg - Graphics (additional graphics in 'A Toaster Called Zippy')

Battlezone

3D Tanx

I first played Battlezone at a friend's house on his Atari 2600. As a Speccy guy, I was captivated by its vibrant colours, smooth movements, and gritty sound effects. However, I have to admit (to my disappointment) that the ST conversion has never impressed me. And I hate saying that. The framerate is sluggish, the controls are awkward, and we can't even use the mouse. Making matters worse (for me) everyone else appears to like it. I don't get what they are seeing. Am I missing out on the ST's version of an iconic arcade shooter?

Years later, I watched an excellent video review by Trusteft and he enjoyed it. This came as a shock but it got me thinking - what was he seeing that I wasn’t? I felt I needed to give this ST conversion another try. However, I didn’t merely want to copy the lad, so I booted it up in monochrome instead. Think different, uh?

In light of that shocking decision, let's pause for a couple of screenshots...

I see this broken screen a lot...

Oh no, I know where that is heading!!

Vector wars

Before loading the game, I gave myself a little pep talk - stay open-minded and be prepared to admit I might have been wrong all these years. The game boots up, and I find myself enjoying its iconic title screen. Unfortunately, no matter how many attempts I gave it, my experience was just as terrible as it was years ago. I never reached a point where I felt my initial impressions were proven wrong. The sluggish controls simply don’t work. Since the arcade version uses two sticks, I can’t help but wonder if a combination of keyboard and mouse could have been implemented? Or even a method similar to 3D games like Virus?

The framerate isn’t sufficient for the game’s demands; the Atari ST has demonstrated it can do better in Resolution 101, Starglider, Simulcra, etc. This lack of agility aids the overly difficult action. Hitting tanks is already challenging, but dodging their shots feels nearly impossible! Sure, it’s clear you shouldn’t stand still and need to keep moving, but nothing can compensate for the flaws of this broken game.

This wasn't a review; watch videos by Trusteft and Into The Vertical Blank for in-depth information. I'm only here to be an obnoxious disgruntled gamer. With that in mind, they are both wrong because Battlezone is the suckiest arcade port I've played (ignoring Rolling Thunder). And I'm gutted to write that. I genuinely am.

What a nasty piece of work I am. So let's calm down and check out some more screenshots...

Dammit, my tank is so lame. It's not the driver, honest.

It was now that I reset and booted up Resolution 101.

6502 Power!

Interestingly, Klaz may have the answer for my constant frustration with Battlezone. Apparently, the ST is emulating/translating 6502 code in real-time which absolutely baffles and amazes me equally. Maybe it was quicker to go that route than to invest time and money into making a real 68000 version?

Oddly, I now find myself developing an undeserved respect for this game running like this. The fact that it’s being emulated is impressive, even though it shouldn’t be. Well, you know what I mean. What I wanted was a decent conversion. Hang on, could this be the only commercial Atari ST game that is emulated?

Regardless, I’ll be sticking with the exceptional 2600 conversion. Now then, what a game that is!!

• Klaz's download: http://d-bug.mooo.com/klaz/Games.html#Battlezone
• Trusteft channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TrusteftRetroWeekend/videos
• Into The Vertical Blank: https://intotheverticalblank.com
• Thanks for reading my silly post, and don't forget to comment!
• My respectful greetings to Trusteft and the boys at Into The Vertical Blank :)