Chopper X

I promise, no chopper jokes

Chopper X is a vertically-scrolling shoot 'em up released in 1989 by Paradox that places us in the seat of an Assault Helicopter, which is armed with Viper Air To Ground missiles to battle hordes of bad guys. The blurb says this pushes the ST with its stunning graphics. Absolute twaddle, don't believe them for a second!

Anyhow, I should admit that I'm not the biggest fan of the whole vertical shooter genre. In fact, I can probably count on one hand the games that I have enjoyed over the decades: Flying Shark, SWIV, Wings Of Death, Xenon, Xenon II and Lethal Xcess. Most are searchable here, and yes, I'm a freak with six fingers.

Did you get that? Sigh, here are some screenshots instead of bad jokes...

Graphics are clear with lots of sea, tanks, and giant bullets to avoid.

I wish our town were this neat and tidy. Anyhow, more tanks, so let's kill them!

Never go by looks, right?

Upon starting, the first thing that hits you is how crude it looks. Then you pick up the joystick and realise that the controls are as bad because they feel clunky without any swift action manoeuvring your big choppa about the screen. Hmm, that just sounds wrong! Anyhow, it simply doesn't feel right to me.

Shooting down enemies should always be fun, but I'm not so sure Chopper X has the most accurate collision detection system. Perhaps it's the scrolling that throws me, but there are times when killing them (and them killing me) seemed somewhat fake. Plus, our weapon doesn't feel good enough, it's like I wanted more from it... Thankfully, there are powerful Cluster Bombs that help out during those sticky situations.

Let's see some more sea-based screenshots...

Blast everything that you see. Take no prisoners!

At last, we reach the end of the level.

Stick with it!

Each stage is short and static, which is fine because many shooters follow a similar design. However, that means I could soon learn when something was about to appear, and these guys are pretty dumb too: they will blindly shoot in a direction approximately toward your location. So, let's say that you're quite high up, then their bullets are fired diagonally upwards rather than directly towards your current location. A little weird.

Positioning your chopper is important. Erm, I mean, I found it best to be lower on the screen to stay alive as long as possible. Annoyingly, death not only results in a loss of life but also forces you back to replay the entire stage from the beginning rather than the place where you croaked it. Quite infuriating.

Are you ready for two more Toy Town screenshots...

As you can see, the enemy cannot directly fire at your location...

...only in the general direction!

Aesthetics

Graphically, this is poor by ST standards with bland sprites, dreary backdrops and horrendous scrolling. It's one of the worst I have seen, and I include those developed with Shoot'Em-Up Construction Kit.

The funky tune is a saving grace, but this music loops back to the start too quickly and plays constantly. So it isn't long before it grates on your nerves!! Sound effects are lame, especially when you die.

• Midi is supported and is something I'd love to experience - I'm after a Roland MT32. 

• Can anyone help me out??

The 2nd level adds a splash of brown, but still looks dreadful.

I'd lost the will to live by the 3rd level...

The CryptO'pinion?

It looks like my fantastic run through the Super Pack has come to an end with this. Yes, I've never been the biggest fan of vertically-scrolling shoot 'em ups, but the ST has some corkers in its library - like Flying Shark. Chopper X is average, as it's far too easy, dull as dishwater, and I got little enjoyment.

Oddly, this game has its fans, and I've no idea why. Are you a fan? Tell me why in the comments below. For me, there are better shoot 'em ups on the ST, so stay clear of this choppy chopper. Play SWIV instead!!

The floppies can be sourced using Atari Legend and you can lose precious hard drive space by installing this cool version by 8BitChip. Enjoy the torment!!