Hong Kong Phooey

A story about a mild-mannered janitor

Once again, I've been plodding through my YouTube channel and found another old video, Hi-Tec's Hong Kong Phooey. This is a scrolling beat 'em up that begins with a cool intro based on the 70s cartoon I watched as a kid - this certainly brought a smile to my face!! After Spot releases the unappreciated janitor from the filing cabinet, we begin our adventure searching for Baron Von Bankjob who has just escaped from jail.

Watch out for the thugs wandering back and forth who want to stop us from capturing the villainous Baron. Thankfully, we are an expert in kung fu which is very handy. The joystick controls are superb and we can punch and kick our foe in many different ways: pushing up (whilst walking) performs a killer Van Damme flying manoeuvre. To reach higher platforms requires a bigger jump and that means also hitting the fire button which is a little cumbersome. I'm sure that action could have been thought out better?

And that's about that. Explore the screens looking for folk to hit as we hunt down the Baron. Think Rolling Thunder but a lot better. Okay, for those old enough to remember this fantastic cartoon...

I love the title sequence. It's short 'and sweet but I feel like a kid watching it!

The moves are easy to learn but lots of fun. "Yee-ah that, sucka!" (say this in a Mr T voice!!!)

Hanna-Barbera magic?

The graphics are nice and cartoony with an oldskool style that might not appeal to many looking for something extra or gorgeous 16-bit sex appeal. The scrolling is smooth but it's at the expense of screen size which has been reduced by a largely pointless status panel. Gotta love the crude character sprites and their pathetic animations! Worst of all when we jump - it's more of a float through the air! Totally ludicrous, but who cares?

Musically, there are nice tunes which I love and that are accompanied by sound effects for jumping and so on. Okay, they're just about good enough so it's the background music I enjoyed the most.

All pretty good but not great. Let's not let that stop a couple more screenshots from appearing...

Learning kung fu certainly didn't help this janitor to jump grace. More like floating!

One gets kicked into the air and then Flash Gordon turns up!

The CryptO'pinion?

I remembered making this video recording and feeling lukewarm afterwards, basically because I kept losing my barring so got lost a lot! Perhaps I should have checked out the map first? Anyhow, back then, I wasn't sure if the game captured the heart of the TV show or not. And I must admit, I'm still not exactly sure.

Hong Kong Phooey brings nothing new to the table. However, the Chuck Norris kicks are crudely entertaining, and I enjoyed exploring a technicolour world. If you have a cat called Spot and a cabinet to get changed in, then I suggest you boot it up. It's a good game, but there are better platformers for the Atari ST.

Download the floppy or hard disk version.

The Last Trooper

I'll be Danny Welinski

Last year, I spent several fantastic weeks enjoying Where Time Stood Still but was later left deflated because I also wanted to play The Great Escape, which is a truly outstanding affair. Alas, the Atari ST game was never meant to be, but wipe away those snowflake tears because there might be light at the end of this 16-bit tunnel? Well, I hope so!

Here we have Mastertronic's very own The Last Trooper which appears to be more than a tad inspired by the previously mentioned Ocean classic! However, the historical storyline and adventure elements are completely gone in favour of four levels of brutal arcade-style killing so go and grab your big boy pants because this is going to be tough!

Wanna see some screenshots of this isometric Commando shooter? Yeah, of course, you do...

Escape the POW Camp in true A-Team style using whatever you can find...

Now it's time to attack your foes but watch out for those GEM-Green mines!

Good but tough!

We're a muscle-bound Schwarzenegger trapped inside an isometric POW camp. Oddly, we already have a machine gun so must find a way to escape before attacking the enemy and destroying their base. The enemy will come after you constantly but they're not the most intelligent and can run around like headless chickens - a little annoying. Other soldiers will hide in trenches or operate gun turrets and you should also look out for other tricky traps, like camouflaged mines.

The controls are simple and very responsive but I initially found it frustrating learning how to line up a shot to kill the frantic headless chickens - it's like they don't care about you being there!! Hmm, anyhow, your crusade won't last very long unless you eat the food that's been carelessly left lying about. Don't forget to top-up your weapon with fresh ammo.

There are other items that you will need to source that will help you out later in the mission. These are essential items that might not be obvious at first: ropes are always handy to have, for example. And there's oddly a huge supply of wire cutters left inside the POW camp. Hmm, that's two interesting pointers that you should remember.

Well, enough reading! Let's check out some more screenshots...

Things got a little tiresome by the third level which was more of the same but a lot harder!

But the fourth level is explosive and much better. Although it's a shame about the poor ending...

The CryptO'pinion?

I've quite enjoyed playing The Last Trooper - but only after activating a trainer for infinite lives. Without that, I failed to beat the second level due to the ridiculous difficulty that is primarily thanks to the headless chickens running about. They blindly shoot everything with extreme efficiency so I wonder if anyone actually bothered to beta-test before its release?

Overall, an above-average shooter that's quite flawed with high difficulty but it's still a bundle of fun for an hour or two. However, if I'm being brutally honest, then I'll stick with Fernandez Must Die and Elite's Commando.

Download for floppy or hard disk.

Custodian

Help! What do I do?

I've been going through my old videos and found this frantic 8-way shooter by legends Hewson. Programmed by Chris Hinsley, who made the awesome Onslaught and Verminator, it features fast visuals whizzing across your screen like lightning. It's crazy and these are all by Nigel Brownjohn who was behind one of my fave platformers, Beyond the Ice Palace. The audio is gorgeous, thanks to the magic of Dave Whittaker.

We are a "custodian" of a massive tomb infested by alien parasites. Obviously, we've gotta clean up this place which means killing everything! The best part is that we look like something from the demoscene [cough] and are equipped with an armed jetpack. Zooming about the place is exciting stuff but the aliens are relentless and the basic mechanics just don't work well together, so it soon becomes a demented slog!

Chris knew how to program the Atari ST but he missed the mark here. There's too much going on with confusing and relentless gameplay. Perhaps I'm wrong? If you're feeling brave, Custodian can run from a floppy or hard drive. Get ready and brace yourself for a rough journey!! Let me know what you think...

Attack!! Attack!! Attack!! Attack!! Attack!! Attack!! ARGHHHH!! Help me, somebody!!

Too much!! Too much!! What's going on? Everything wants me dead... Oh, I died!