Thursday, March 08, 2018

Atari ST games I HATE!!


Today, I decided it might be 'fun' to play a handful of games that I have always hated. First up is Lemmings, a game everybody went crazy for but I personally couldn't find any joy in herding the docile idiotic critters. A few screens in and I would soon discover that I had no tolerance for their blind stupidity and found it rather frustrating. Thus I spent my time watching each one plummet to their death and blowing them up! Now, that is fun, for a few minutes...

Next is a great conversion of the monster hit, Hard Drivin'. This sure looks the part with its fancy polygons and the whacky stunts enticing you to put your skills to the test. However, it never goes to plan for me because I cannot steer my car in anything that resembles a straight line and I handle the cornering worse than Stevie Wonder!

I first remember seeing Strider in ST Format and it looked absolutely arcade-amazing with even a glowing review so I went out and blindly spent all my pennies. Well, I certainly won't be giving it a glowing review because I cannot stand to play this frantic platformer for more than a few minutes without suffering severe eyestrain thanks to how it scrolls. Yep, the only Atari ST game that actually causes me to feel physical pain. Gee thanks, Tiertex.

Yolanda is another platformer and one I've always thought looked curiously interesting. The sprites look superb and it has a funny loading screen so I've always wondered if it played as good as it appeared... No, it does not!!

Start the game. Wonder what to do. Die.
Start the game. Run left. Die.
Start the game. Run right. Die.
Start the game. Panic. Die.
Reboot your ST...

Additionally, I feel I must also give a mention to these terrible titles which are already featured here on AtariCrypt: Days Of Thunder, Carlos, and Sophélie. All are genuinely worthwhile games that you will love, honest!

In case you're wondering, this article was just a bit of fun directed at each game's weaker attributes. Except for Lemmings which is a lame port and I really cannot stand it so my apologies to the fans throughout the world. Not.

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