Elvira - The Arcade Game

A game with sex appeal

Elvira has graced our favourite 16-bit computer three times, two of them being adventures. However, the third is a little-known platformer by Flair Software, which is a platformer not too dissimilar to the likes of Turrican or Gods. Yes, that doesn't sound very original, but I don't care. Also, it's enhanced on Atari STe thanks to the Blitter and lots of extra colours. So, kudos to the boys at Flair for supporting both computers.

For this game, we are the Mistress who finds herself awoken by a wizard who needs her to complete a mission (here we go), and, apparently, we need to recover the Queendom. Whatever the story, I'm in, but it means there are three ginormous worlds to explore. And guess what, there are many demons to fight!!

Let's take a look at their loading screens, which are beautiful examples of pixel art...

Those looking for a tan might first wish to play the Underworld of Fire?

Or perhaps you prefer to plunder the cold depths of Arctic Earth? Bring a scarf!

Let's play with Elvira

It's obvious that Gods and Turrican inspired this, so no prizes for originality. There are two levels: Underworld of Fire and Arctic Earth (the third cannot be played until these are completed). Each has a range of baddies walking and flying in the sky. Hitting fire shoots a magical weapon with loud and exciting deaths - it's a shameless ripoff effect. There is constant action through huge, colourful levels stuffed with monsters.

The controls are good, but turning this sexy woman feels too slow. Elvira moves majestically; it's something seeing her flaunt those legs when turning or jumping. The walk is funny as she stomps the ground, but gravity appears low, so jumping takes on the form of Neil Armstrong on the moon. Actually, this is great for killing the monsters as the jump mechanic takes longer, so you can change direction as needed.

There's little that feels new as Elvira is running on ripped inspiration. That's fine, but it also means there's nothing unexpected, so everything feels familiar. I also found the levels too big and bewildering. The ability to save progress via checkpoints could have been better. As you can imagine, I kept on getting lost!

Let's take a peep at a jazzy screenshot of the fireworks you will experience...

Elvira doesn't waste any time flashing you a quick glimpse of her underwear!

Aesthetics

Visually, this is a corker with gorgeous levels that feature lots of colour and detailed sprites that explode like it's bonfire night. Parallax scrolling is smooth, but the action can slow down when a lot is happening. The screen width has been squashed a little to maintain the framerate on older STs, which is understandable.

The Blitter Chip is supported for both Atari computers if present (obviously, a standard on the STe). This makes the game run at a smoother albeit slower pace. So, an STfm without Blitter features a lower framerate but faster gameplay. Personally, I prefer the game without Blitter support! :o

The excellent theme music is by Sean Connolly with nice Gods-like effects (S key toggles). To be honest, there aren't an awful lot of sound effects; you will hear Elvira stomping more than anything else.

Righto, fellow ST Nutters, it's time for the final screenshot and guess what? It's beautiful...

Elvira is so hot that she can create sparks even in the cold Ice World.

The CryptO'pinion?

Sadly, even the busty goddess cannot save this game. The basics are very good and enjoyable for a while. However, the levels are far too large and thus the quest soon becomes tiresome without frequent checkpoints. Although the graphics are legendary (I tip my hat to Flair for using the Blitter), they should have removed the parallax effect in favour of a larger display/spritelier scrolling. That would have been better.

Elvira the Arcade Game may never have been in the arcades, but I don't care. Who doesn't enjoy dressing up as The Mistress Of The Dark? Oops, did I say that out loud? Yes, it might feel like a cheap Gods or Turrican clone, but I've enjoyed it. More than worth playing, especially if you have a trainer and map at hand.

Great game, and Elvira will keep you entertained for many hours. (Mmm, given half the chance!!)

Who wouldn't help Elvira if she asked?

Exactly, so grab her by the floppy or hard disk!!

lotsa stars!

You won't believe this!

It’s been ages since I uploaded a video, so I thought it was high time. I’ve had it for a long time, but I should have shared it sooner, because it’s so impressive and deserves to be seen by the demoscene fanbase. Come on, just look at the specs: 1265 zillion+ stars, calculated in real-time and at 50fps. Mind-boggling!!

I would like to see another 16-bit computer try this! So sit back and enjoy the show... 

Credit

No More - Music

Phenomenon - Code, Graphics (Logo)

TiNKer - Graphics (Font)

Download from Demozoo.

Blood Money

No lame Amiga ports (for once)

This is one of my favourite Atari ST shooters and by Psygnosis, a company (more or less) synonymous with weak Amiga ports. This game features some of the best graphics you will see in any scrolling shoot'em up and it sounds excellent too.

It's all thanks to the talent of Wayne Smithson who proved the power of the ST when in the hands of a decent programmer - who needed no custom chips. Still, I cannot help wondering how an STe would have done... Just saying...

Okay, soak your money in blood and play this amazing game using either a floppy or off your hard drive.

Do Things [Cream]

Chipmusic will live forever

Here is a superb music disk for the Atari ST/e: Do Things by Cream. Yes, it works on both machines, but the colours are better on the Atari STe, plus the tunes are in stereo, which is lovely!! The disk features fantastic #chiptunes by Tao, a talented musician I really admire, and I think you will too after listening.

The demo features a wonderful tunnel effect leading to the main music screen, where you'll find a huge list of chiptunes. But the fun doesn't stop there - press the spacebar to view an incredible comic strip with legendary artwork. Some of the best I've ever seen. Cream has done it again, so download this now!!

 

All the Creamy credits go to this bunch of talented folk :

Abyss - Code | Agent T - Graphics | Candyman - Code, Music (End part) | Tao - Music

Atari STe demos playlist ( link )

Atari chiptune playlist ( link)
- Demo Encyclopaedia -

Fire And Brimstone

Tough as nails!

It's a well-known fact that games were harder back in the day. Perhaps our generation was made of tougher stuff, and today's kids are wimps? That sounds right, and we have a game to prove it. Hey, before we begin, did you know that I've fully mapped this game? No? Well, click the "Game Maps" link to your right...

Fire and Brimstone was released in 1990 by Firebird and is one of the most visually stunning platformers I have seen. The adventure takes place in a fantasy world of Norse mythology, as the mighty Thor must battle the forces of Hel. She has escaped and spread her lust for evil over the Nordic lands with her minions, creating havoc! So, wait for it, it's up to us to clean up this hellish infestation and get home in time for tea.

Check out these gorgeous screenshots with the first immediate puzzle (that makes no sense, ironically)...

This game blows you away from the start with an oddly puzzling demon who always wakes up!

Look out for witches with their rapid spells. Who are also tough to kill!

We are the mighty Thor!

There are five worlds (including Hel) to beat - Alfheim, Anaheim, Nidavellir, Muspell, and Nilfheim. Each screen is a puzzle in itself that requires careful thought before you attempt to foolishly maraud through. Even the first screen can confuse, and its solution makes little sense - get used to this trickery!

Each level’s objective is to find key parts and complete them. Only after all fragments are discovered can you finish the levels (along with a boss to defeat, of course). Therefore, every screen should be thoroughly searched for hidden objects to avoid being punished for laziness and sent back to revisit previous screens!

Thor doesn't only carry an axe but two individual weapons, which he flips between, including bombs and fire. Some power-ups will help improve our abilities against the hordes of baddies who come in all shapes and sizes - each possesses a cunning yet humorous personality. Everyone is often really difficult to kill, from magic-throwing witches to goblins, old bats, and things hiding in trees. It's impossible not to love this game's awesome charisma - I especially love the funky ghosts and creepy witches who fly by on their broomsticks.

Let's view another ghostly and witchy screenshot from this tough platformer...

Watch out for all kinds of freaky monsters. Oh, look, it's the mother-in-law on her broom!

We're in the creepy woods, which are full of ghosts. And HIM too! Runnnnn!!!

Aesthetics

Fire and Brimstone offers an exceptional visual treat by Chris Sorrell. Astounding attention to detail, using an artistic flair that perfectly complements the medieval and hellish atmosphere. The characters look fantastic and are superbly animated with scenic settings that are always beautiful. Jaw-dropping 16-bit pixel art.

Warning: there’s no scrolling. For an Amiga user, this likely translates to their usual complaints about Atari ST ports. However, Fire and Brimstone wasn’t designed to scroll and is perfectly suited as a flick-screen platformer. In fact, I'm pretty sure scrolling wouldn't have had the same effect at all.

David Whittaker’s thumping sample tune serves as the title music, and while brilliant, I must admit I prefer his chiptunes. Don't get me wrong, it's excellent, but just my personal taste. The in-game sound effects are superb for all the usual effects, but clearly can’t match the majestic quality of the lush and detailed graphics.

It sure looks and sounds the business, alright, so let's see another couple of screenshots...

See that guy in red, I wonder what's his story?

Oh, each level has a secret room. Don't miss it otherwise, you'll be sent back!

The CryptO'pinion?

Fire and Brimstone is the most challenging platformer I’ve ever played, with its unforgiving mechanics. However, with patience, you’ll learn how each screen functions and make progress. Even then, it remains incredibly difficult, so I’d rate it as one of the most frustrating games. Hardly a glowing review, right?

Ignoring my painful progress (with a trainer), this game is incredibly entertaining and potentially rewarding for a determined player. I love how each screen offers its own mini-adventure, which naturally extends its lifespan due to its design. Despite its flaws demanding a trainer, I absolutely love it.

However, I fear only the foolish bravest should venture into this world of torment. Enjoy!

Download for floppy or hard drive.

Teserae

I love sausages!

Teserae was developed by The Albanian Sausage Corporation - the funniest name ever! It is a Tetris clone if you hadn't guessed, but this is different and pushes the Atari ST with fantastic aesthetics that no version of Tetris has ever seen. I'm talking about the whackiest & jazziest graphics with a cool wobbly logo, zooming backgrounds, a text scroller, and gorgeous music. Plus, everything runs at a smooooth 50fps. Flashy and slick.

Regardless, it wouldn't be worth its salt if the gameplay were rubbish. Fear not, because it not only looks incredible but plays just as well. Once you have got over the shock of what is a visual carnival, there is actually a challenging version of the classic game here. I'm not exactly a Tetris fan, but I adored Teserae a bunch!!

I recommend you wear sunglasses before you hit AtariMania for the download.

Lights, Camera, Action! (take 2)

Update: I've long since lost these videos. Has anyone got copies to share?

Following on from a previous posting, here are the remaining videos being played using a program called ST Video Player. Just like last time, these are running on a stock 8MHz Atari STe w/ a hard drive, of course.

Chariots Of Wrath

Whilst fighting for King and Country, an evil Baron kidnaps the beautiful Princess Arthena. So jump into your chariot and rescue her. Actually, this really means playing lots of different arcade-style games, which surely can't be a bad day at the local war zone, right?

Released in 1989 by Impressions, Chariots Of Wrath isn't just one particular game but instead is a half-dozen bundle of retro gaming oldies. If there was ever a mixed-goody bag of various games (thrown together), then this is it. Each range in style, from a Breakout clone to a pretty nice shoot 'em up, and each must be played in order before you can advance to the next.

Of course, each and every game will become progressively harder the further you venture. Initially, I didn't care for the "Operation Wolf" clone because it's far too easy and a little boring, but later on, I admit to liking this as it became a lot harder and thus more challenging. But would you play it compared to Op.Wolf?

The breakout game is awesome and comes with a number of power-ups to increase the excitement. I found it enjoyable, but I'm sure the Arkanoid fanboys won't be quaking in their boots! The platformer looks nice, but the controls feel wooden, and it has an incredibly frustrating and extremely unforgiving time limit. Asteroids also make an appearance and play very well with some nifty new touches that I really liked. Finally, I really enjoy the vertically scrolling shoot 'em up, which is both loud and exciting. Sadly, it suffers from amateur mechanics and a little slowdown, but it is still great fun, and I did enjoy it with its BOOM BOOM sound effects!

The graphics are good throughout, with smooth scrolling and lots of colours. So overall, my ears and eyes had little to complain about. However, in terms of playability, Chariots of Wrath almost has a homebrew feel, and with a little spit and polish. We could have had a unique release, as the potential is there with this jack of all trades. However, I fear it falls short, and there are better individual games out for the Atari ST.

• Play off a hard drive, which is best - thanks to 8BitChip!
• Need the floppy disks, then look no further than Atari Legend.
• Check out the superb video recording by CaptainD from Indie Game News.

Destruction Imminent

Who needs a PC?

Destruction Imminent was released in 1996 by Cunning & Devious Games for the Atari ST/e and is a first-person shooter, similar to a typical Wolfenstein clone. In fact, it's incredibly reminiscent of that early 90s era, thanks to its familiar look and gameplay style - which probably has your mouth watering about now?

Our adventure takes place in a comparable environment, gloomy corridors filled with evil hordes of enemies waiting to eat you alive! Oh, and we have a range of familiar weaponry. Okay, let's say this game was (ahem) inspired? Before you begin, watch the intro play through. It's very cool and accompanied by gorgeous music as it introduces the monsters we will soon encounter. These are a scary bunch and pretty freaky!!

It's time to stop reading and look at a couple of screenshots of the robots and rock monster...

The robots can be really tough opponents at times.

Rock monster? Hmm, I'll say no more...

Enter the dungeon!

From the start, the atmosphere is predictable, with each level plagued by strange creatures - not to worry, because we have weapons ranging from pistols to machine guns, rocket launchers, and plasma rifles. Some of these monsters are oddballs - the Rock Monster is like a crude Daroou from Dungeon Master. He's oddly cute and looks like he's made from gingerbread! Anyhow, kill him and free your monitor from that pixel art.

The controls are superb: cursor keys are used for walking, CTRL fires weapons, and SHIFT allows you to run away like a cowardly chicken. Also, side-stepping is possible, which is always needed. There isn't a key to open doors, just walk up and nudge them with your nose. This is where the engine is at its weakest because it's often a pain to align yourself properly. But then again, Wolfenstein has the same issue (for me).

Additionally, the Function Keys are used to flip between weapons/health. It's a bit awkward, but you will eventually get used to this. Sadly, the mouse isn't supported, but the wooden movement from a keyboard is responsive and just like Wolf3D. Remember, this isn’t Doom, so it’s not that game!

Wanna see some more of the enemies you'll be up against? Of course, you do...

Things are getting creepy with bugs!

There are also bats. Surely, you're not scared? Come back...!!

Aesthetics

Surely the 8MHz Atari ST isn't powerful enough to run a first-person shooter? You need at least a 25MHz PC, right? Ignoring its drab user interface, the visuals are remarkable, using a 3D engine that won't fail to impress. This makes use of texture mapping, light-sourced sprites, and a decent framerate. Power without the price. The only niggle I have is that the weapon is perhaps too large, as it obscures close enemies!

As for the audio, it's equally impressive, using sound effects and great music. Everything is even better on the Atari STe thanks to the stereo DMA coprocessor. This game is awesome, so colour me impressed!

It looks and sounds excellent, which is always nice, so let's check out the last two monsters...

Mutants? Nah, they're not scary! In fact, they look like me on a Monday morning!

Gotta love the pixel artwork - minimalistic yet stunning!

The CryptO'pinion?

As you can probably tell, I've enjoyed blasting my way through this game! The weapons are great, and exploring demon-infested worlds is engaging. I have very few complaints (already mentioned), so I cannot take anything away from what is an extraordinary first-person shooter. Plus, it's an example of what the Atari ST/e is capable of knocking out in the hands of talented people who care about their product. No lame port!

Preferably, play on an Atari STe to enjoy what is nothing short of a brilliant first-person shooter.

Destruction Imminent

[ download from my Dropbox ]

Tiger Road

The arcade comes home

Tiger Road was released in 1989 by US Gold, but I felt it didn't do justice to the awesome original, so I thought I'd give it another go. From the very beginning, you're thrown into an instant hack & slash scene battling a constant horde of stupid bad guys, so pick up your axe and thrash your way to victory.

Well, that's easier said than done because the enemies won't give you a moment's rest, and the larger baddies are a pain in the rear end - so difficult to kill those guys! Which is made worse by little visual feedback to help show if you're doing any damage. Argh, sometimes it feels like I'm hitting at thin air!

Overall, this is a good conversion in terms of how it looks and sounds, but the gameplay is better. And that's all that matters. So pick up your joystick and hack away at the bad guys. Highly recommended.

Lights, Camera, Action!

Update: I've long since lost these videos. Has anyone got them to share? Thx

ST Video Player is one of those programs that will drop your mouth wide open with amazement. You just won't believe that your humble 512kb 8Mhz Atari STE (with a hard drive) can produce such amazing high-colour movies.

This piece of magic was written by Cyg of BlaBla (the creators of some of the best Atari ST/e demos that I've ever seen). Movies come in the format of .CAV files so just drag & drop one onto the program and prepare to be amazed. I hope to see more videos released for the Atari STe - very soon! Download from Demozoo and Pouet.

Atari ST magazines

( my virtual Atari Falcon w/ MiNT and three PDF magazines being displayed using zView )

An era long gone

The Atari ST had some of the best magazines the world has ever seen, and I still find it helpful in referring back to old issues for their features, reviews, and other information. Thankfully, many websites have scans of this golden era covering ST Action, ST Format, Atari World, ST User, The One, etc...

So enjoy the 16-bit reading, and cover disks!!

Grab a magazine from the rack...

AtariMania is always a great resource, as they have a fantastic magazine section.

A wonderful website dedicated to Atari ST Review, including their coverdisks.

Kiwis World seems to have bucketloads of Atari ST magazines.

Exxos has a page for ST Format and Atari World with coverdisks.

The Zogging Hell website has a great collection of various magazine coverdisks.

Of course, there's always the newest Atari ST magazine on the block - AtariCrypt!!

Starglider

Unplug the TV!

If I had to name an Atari ST game that defined the 1980s, then Starglider would be up there with the best of 'em. This 3D shooter somehow appeared from out of nowhere and rewrote the book on how a shooter should be. A whole new generation of gamers got to witness this explosion of 3D aesthetics like never before.

Today I wanted to show you a lesser-known aspect of Starglider. It supports the ST’s crisp Hi-Resolution mode, sacrificing colour for increased definition thanks to the 640x400 display. A legendary game running on a display, unlike anything else at the time. Of course, everything else remains unchanged, including the gameplay.

I've always loved Starglider as it's a perfect blend of action and strategy. The mouse controls are spot-on, and the combination of using both buttons to fire/move is extraordinarily efficient. The sound effects are superb and feel somewhat arcade in their style to me. However, it's the opening music that many remember the most. What can I say... Staaaaaaaarrrrrrgliiiiiderrrrrrr from Rainnnnnnbirrrrrrd (insert echo effect)!!!

This is still a jaw-dropping shooter, which plays every bit as well as I remember. Everything from the smooth framerate, crisp sound effects, and exciting gameplay style. It's challenging yet a constantly enjoyable shooter. In fact, it's timeless. Play it by downloading either the floppy or hard disk versions. Yes, right now.

Rainbow Islands

Rainbows? No thanks!

Today, I booted up Rainbow Island on my Atari ST, and I fondly remembered the time I saw it in our local computer shop. I was instantly hooked by its lush colours and the delightful effects; it looked so outstanding! After paying lots of cash, I walked home as fast as my lanky legs could carry me! This is probably one of the most famous platformers for the Atari ST, and there isn't anything new I could tell you.

Waste no more time, play Rainbow Islands. It's one of the beST!!

• 8BitChip has a download which can be installed onto hard drive!
• Atari Legend has all the floppy disk images.
• Fancy a few cheat codes? Of course, you do so type these on the title screen:

           -> BLRBJSBJ for fast feet.

           -> RJSBJSBR for double rainbows!

           -> SSSLLRRS for super fast rainbows.

           -> BJBJBJRS for the first hint.

           -> LJKSKBLS for the second hint.

           -> LBSJRRWL continues each round.

           -> SJBLRJSR will slow down the baddies.

           -> Inf.lives: choose 3 credits and hold QWERTY & tap fire.

 

Death Trap

My first Anco game

Anco's Death Trap was released in 1990 and reminds me of platformers like Horror Zombies From The Crypt, with hints of Prince Of Persia and Ricky Dangerous. The gruesome cover is nothing short of tremendous!

We begin the adventure in a labyrinth of horror and encounter traps, like falling blocks, poisonous chests, spikes, etc. Each map is huge, and easy to lose your bearing so I doodled myself a route, which helped a bunch. Puzzles are simple, like flipping a switch to unlock a door, but this might mean backtracking, and sometimes you're even required to walk the long way around. Not easy, when you're under constant attack.

Okay, that's enough yapping. Let's view a couple of screenshots...

The graphics are absolutely superb, with gorgeous tones used!

Right, stop! There's a switch... wanna risk pulling that thing?

It's all about the killing!

Yes, evil creatures inhabit this dungeon and will annoyingly appear at the most inconvenient times (it's quite similar to Black Lamp in this respect). They're all relentless, so watch out for ghosts who materialise from out of thin air, jumping frogs, bats that swoop in and drop rocks, Egyptian wizards, and many others. I must say, I love the stripy grabbing hands that appear before the culprit appears to chase you!!

Controls are responsive and keep up with the demands of our adventurer. The tighter jumps can be difficult as you need to tiptoe right to the end of a platform, which is difficult when constantly chased by creatures! Our direction cannot be altered during the jump, which is awkward.

We're armed with a pathetic blade, but this can be upgraded with potions - I love the fireball that grants the ability to kill something before it gets close. These potions can be used to conjure spells, recover health, etc. The trouble is that exploration is vague, with lots of backtracking and guesswork. Or, in other words, Stevie got lost a lot!! If there was ever a game that needed an auto-map feature, this is it.

Right, let's see another couple of sexy screenshots...

The enemies are on par with Black Lamp. Gorgeous enemies, like this stripy dude!

Those leaping frogs are insane. Very deadly too!

The CryptO'pinion?

Technically, this spooky adventure impressed me with its agile scrolling, animated sprites, great controls, and sampled sound effects. However, Death Trap is tough; the maps are huge, and I often get weary of the enemy's constant onslaught, which can feel annoyingly unfair. So, I came away impressed and unimpressed. It's got the hallmarks of a great platformer: a labyrinth of interesting places, nice puzzles, and monsters to kill. But there are too many monsters constantly getting in the way of exploration and progress.

A trainer might be welcome to fudge that. Surely that's not right? [Don't Call Me Shirley!!]

- DOWNLOADS -

Back when AtariCrypt was just a baby, I recorded this gameplay video.

 Stonish has a great floppy disk, and the hard disk version is available thanks to 8BitChip.

 If doodling ain't your thing, then Hall of Light has every level mapped.

MaxYMiser

An Atari ST YM2149 chip tracker

MaxYMiser is the premier tracker on the Atari for chipmusic. I cannot pretend I know anything about being a musician, but I have it running on my Atari STe right at this moment! Once loaded, even I realised how superbly well-designed it is, and it's obvious why our community loves it so. Fantastic software!!

Give it a playtest - MaxYMiser is a babe, and here is a series of tutorial videos!! Check out the blurb...

"

maxYMiser is the best and most up to date chip tracker for the Atari ST, and is still under constant development. To hear the sounds this tracker is capable of visit The Phatt Demo and the maxYMiser online compo. maxYMiser is free, features a full MIDI implementation, and easy to use FastTracker II style editing. maxYMiser is a gwEm production.

Subscribe for the latest maxYMiser information. You're really encouraged to join this list. I won't spread your e-mail adress to anyone and the list is inactive. You can expect me to send an e-mail every few months or so, to let you know about the latest improvements.

Most importantly, you register an interest in the program, which strongly encourages future developments - if you don't subscribe to the list, don't wonder why new versions take a long time to arrive.

"

Credits

---

• maxYMiser was created by Atari chip music freak Gareth Morris aka gwEm.
• Co-designed by Dma-Sc.
• The beautiful logos were by ST Survivor.

Sliders

Atari STe power!!

Sliders is a "sports" game by Microids for both models of the best 16-bit computer - it's the same game on either machine, but the scrolling is silky smooth on the STe (hardware scrolling? 50fps, and I'm impressed by their dedication). Okay, this is a weird game, and the boys at Microids sure had a silly idea about sporting events in the future. It's like ice hockey meets marble madness - but at frantic speeds.

The players aren't people; instead, they are balls, not very flattering, but we play as one. The other can be a human or computer-controlled player. Like soccer, we chase a little ball to score a goal before our opponent. The gameplay is furious over a metallic pitch with lots of varied terrain, like forced-directional arrows and humps to affect control. Realistic physics will affect your momentum, meaning you have a massive learning curve to master! Interestingly, you can alter various elements: thrust, friction, and more.

Balls fighting (one-on-one) over another smaller ball is hardly an interesting or innovative idea. In fact, it's weird, but I admit that whizzing around the field is great fun on the STe - kudos to Microids. However, it's too freakishly hard when playing against the computer, which is super and completely outclasses you(me!).

Sliders is a nice idea, but badly executed due to the difficulty. It's best as a multiplayer with another useless opponent for the most giggles. Can either of you play it properly? I doubt it, but it's a laugh!

 Hard drive game by 8BitChip and floppies by Atari Legend